How do we live in a world that’s on fire? How do we keep the frustrations of our daily lives in perspective, when there are wars on such a scale? Where do we look for reassurance that there are still good people, fine leaders and old-fashioned morality out there?
The past 12 months have been challenging for me. With deteriorating mobility, I am even more cautious getting on and off my mobility scooter and navigating the small shops in Hamilton. My bathroom gleams like a spaceship with additional safety structures; my bed has rails so I can lever myself up. My right leg and foot are the source of pain, especially at night.
But I have a home, a bed, a bathroom, everything I need. Sometimes I feel my days of independence are numbered, but then I pull myself together. All I have to do is turn on the news.
I try not to focus on the frustrations that weigh on me, and some of the time I succeed. It is only when the weight is lifted that I realise what I’ve been carrying all this time.
Just last week, I signed papers authorising the sale of Ken’s shares and the closure of his bank account – after almost a year, the end of a long and drawn-out process to execute his will is in sight. And I received a welcome birthday present from my insurance company – after 7 months and much stopping and starting, works to repair leaks in the roof have been completed and the case closed.
One by one, other things in my life that have been holding me to ransom are coming loose, and are on the move. I’ve been fighting the fires but these things seem to have a secret life span which I can do little to influence. Perhaps it would have been easier on my mind and body if I had raged less against the slowness and inefficiency of everything. Put down my water buckets occasionally, and relaxed.
American writer Margaret Renkl captures this in her book ‘The Comfort of Crows: A Backyard Year’ [1] when she writes:
‘The world is burning, and there is no time to put down the water buckets. For just an hour, put down the water buckets anyway. Take your cue from the bluebirds, who have no faith in the future but to build the future nevertheless, leaf by leaf and straw by straw, shaping them into the roundness of the world.’
[1] ‘The Comfort of Crows: A Backyard Year’ by New York Times opinion writer Margaret Renkl is a literary devotional that follows the plants and creatures in her backyard over the course of a year.
Image courtesy of Pixabay, unknown photographer.
12 Responses
Glad you are getting some closure re the executing of Ken’s will, Ruth.
Since February 2022 the news has featured- floods in the Northern Rivers, the Russian invasion of Ukraine,
we have been confronted daily for the past year with the Israeli bombardment of Gaza- there are fires in Spain, Greece and other countries- an artistic neighbour has stopped watching the news- at times I think I should do the same. The journalists seem to think we want to watch these things- they seem to think we can’t get enough of them- we have to keep peace with ourselves and if this means skipping the news, then I think that’s not a bad idea.
Thank you, Sue. For a year or so, I was very disciplined about limiting my news exposure – then I gradually slipped back into my old ways.
Much of the news is the same thing repeated throughout the day.
Hi Ruth,
Good to read your post. The only place that I look for reassurance, strength, hope, compassion, love and much much more is to our wonderful Heavenly Father. I know you don’t share my beliefs, but there is someone to lean on in those times of weakness and doubt (about where the world, and us are heading). Just think…we won’t need buckets in Heaven!
Take care and all my love to you❣️ Jan
Thanks Jan – I’m glad it works for you – that’s what matters.
yes Ruth I have exactly the same burden re the world state – I am almost addicted to catching the 7am news to see what nauseaus brutalities have occurred while I have slept ! My special sadness and angst hovers over the starving children who will be denied a healthy and educated life if ever the war ends . I feel that the evil evident in so many people and places is palpable. Yes we should be grateful for our blessings .
Thanks Jan. I wasn’t aware you put so much store by the news – it must run in the family. And about evil – I don’t recall ever in my lifetime seeing it manifest in such a way on the global stage.
Indeed, Ruth, it takes some discipline to put down the water bucket from time to time! But when I do, I feel better able to bear the horrors of the wider world.
We are fortunate in the facilities we have to cope with exacerbations of ill health. But we still need to take care.
Have a good night, dear.
Thank you Cecile – I do love that bucket image – it is so poignant. I see us scattered over the world carrying these buckets – and then taking a little bit of time out.
You have achieved so much since Ken passed away, Ruth, and all while dealing with your own health issues. It’s a lot. And that’s not taking into account the horrors in the news every day. Keeping calm and carrying on is a huge challenge, particularly for you.
Thank you Vicki. I think I have underestimated the fact that death of a spouse is ranked as the most stressful event one can experience. That coupled with the inevitable transition that’s such a loss involves – to say nothing of house maintenance!!
Thanks Ruth
Yes, being thankful for what we have is important. And there is still much out there to be thankful for, especially at this time of ‘madness’ in much of the world at large. Regarding the latter, we can only really register our ongoing strong disapproval and not let it overcome us.
I’m glad that you are almost through the business of settling Ken’s affairs.
Geoff
Thank you, Geoff – I really value your comments.